How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
