My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
