so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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