ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
