everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Randomize
