i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
