A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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