i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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