But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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