No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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