Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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