why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
