I'll bet she douches with gravy.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize