and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
