What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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