I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
