Apparently you make a good broom.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
