so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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