I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I use my feet as sexual weapons
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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