honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
