the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
