We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
