32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
