I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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