arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
