Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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