If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
