So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
