Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
