I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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