He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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