i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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