Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
