do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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