Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
His nipple licking is glorious
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