You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
