please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
