there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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