if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
