Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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