i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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