I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
