i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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