Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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