have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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