swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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