found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
time to smoke my breakfast
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
