thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
