She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
