Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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