Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
