we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
