So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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