i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
