I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Randomize
