Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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