i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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