just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
