Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
