Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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