Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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