my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Boobs are out for the taking
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
