Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It's rum buckets o'clock
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
