I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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